Before you judge, let me make myself clear. I am not writing this to gain sympathy. I am not writing this so that everyone will come and comfort me. I am writing this because I want to. This may not be about me. This may be about me. Your call.
A strange question came across my mind. It was so simple but I had a hard time answering.
If I will be given a chance to become someone, who will it be?
Pretty hard, doesn’t it? But if you read it again, maybe someone will cross your mind and make you think.
I thought of becoming Anna (not her real name). She’s so good at drawing that I can’t help but applaud her on her every work. She’s so damn good in both architecture and portrait drawing. But thinking deeper into it, if I become like her, my love for sports will be gone.
She likes Volleyball, yes, but not as much as I do. I play other sports, too. And if I become like her then that thing will be gone. I won’t be able to play sports like I do now.
I also thought of becoming Carla (not her real name). She’s so good in sports and she’s also beautiful, too. She’s now a police officer that I envy her strength which she can use on sports she plays. But if I become her, my love for drawing will be gone.
I don’t know if she can draw but I don’t think she does. And I like drawing stuff that I don’t want that to disappear in me.
Becoming like Joan (not her real name) is also something I thought. She’s good at drawing, she can do sports and she’s even beautiful. I think everything’s in her. But the thing is, she doesn’t want to read books.
Maybe some of you know how much I love reading. I even write novels of my own. And if that thing is gone to me, too. I don’t know anymore.
With those many names mentioned, I chose to be myself all the time. But when I met her, I just don’t know anymore. I badly want to become like her.
Screw that skills in drawing, sports, writing, reading and becoming pretty. Screw that all. I just want to be her. I want to be happy like her.