Chapter 2

Chantria

“I feel like someone is digging inside my stomach,” bulong ni Chanel habang nakahiga sa kama namin. Huminga pa siya nang malalim para pigilan kung ano o sino man ‘yong humahalukay raw sa tiyan niya.

Mukhang kahit papaano naman ay nasa katinuan na siya dahil deretso na siyang magsalita at hindi na nauutal. At least hindi na siya ganoon kalasing gaya kanina. Because I swear, hindi na naman titigil si Carleigh sa pangangaral sa kaniya sa mga susunod na linggo. She’s quite a nagger.

Patuloy ako sa pag-scan sa newsfeed ko at maya’t mayang napapangiti habang nagbabasa ng mga comment sa video. Mayroon na iyong libong likes and shares, at nagwawala na rin ang mga tao sa comment section.

Hindi pa nakikita ni Chanel, though, pero makapaghihintay naman ‘yon. For now, I need to let other people see it and wait for their reaction. Hindi na rin ako makapaghintay sa magiging komento ng jowa niya after this, I mean, ex-boyfriend na pala.

I wonder how he’ll react. Or if he has the guts to react at all. I mean, si Chanel kasi ‘to. Many people love her.

“Yeah,” Carleigh said, “and if you don’t stop drinking like that at parties from now on, I will dig it some more myself.”

Napahagikgik ako. “If I were you, Chanel, I would be threatened. She can really dig, I assure you.”

That’s true. I remember how she punched me in the face before for punching another guy. Well, kailangan na ‘yong ilibing sa nakaraan habang buhay.

Sighing in defeat, she said, “Alright. I won’t anymore. It just gives me headaches every morning anyway.”

Muli akong napahagikgik nang Mabasa ang komento ni Samantha sa video kung saan mayroon daw siyang listahan ng mga lalaki kung gusto ko. At marami siyang kilala na lalaking may mga malalaking et-ts na tiyak magugustuhan ni Chanel.

Dali-dali akong nagkomento at hiningi sa kaniya ang listahan through private message. Pero hindi sa ‘kin, kung hindi kay Chanel mismo. At nang mai-send na niya, hinintay ko ang magiging reaksyon ng kapatid ko.

Hindi ko na tinago pa ang reaksyon ko habang pinanonood siyang kunin ang phone niya sa bulsa at nagbasa ng messages. Of course, she checks the private messages first before anything else.

At first, kumunot ang noo niya dahil sa binabasa. Mayamaya ay mabilis siyang nag-type ng reply. After a while, mas lalong kumunot ang noo niya at mas lalong bumilis ang pagtipa. Nang mapatayo siya sa kinahihigaan habang may pinanonood ay dali-dali na akong tumakbo sa loob ng banyo upang magtago.

“Chantria, how dare you?!”

I am laughing out loud inside the bathroom after I lock the door. Napagitla pa ako sa mabilis at malakas na paghampas ni Chanel sa pinto pero bumalik lang din ulit ako sa pagtawa. Pinalabas ko sa phone ko ang video na kinuha ko kanina at nilakas iyon para mas marinig niya.

“Because his d-ick is so small!”

“I am going to pull all your teeth when you get out there. I swear!” Chanel growls from the door, still banging. “Why did you upload this? Argh!” She makes a gagging sound. “My stomach is turning again. I want to vomit.”

“Why are you so mad?” I ask. “There is nothing wrong with the video.”

“You are well aware of why I am angry, Chantria. Everything about the video is wrong!” Humina nang kaunti ang boses niya. “Okay, not the part where I broke up with Ben and the d-ick part because all of those are true. But come on, Chantria! I look like a mess in the video. My hair, my lipstick, my ghad!”

Napailing na lang ako dahil sa komento niya. I know that it is not about the words she said but more about her appearance. Ayaw na ayaw niyang maglalabas ng litrato niya sa publiko nang hindi siya maayos. Gusto niya lagi siyang presentable at maganda sa mga ipo-post niya online.

Not this time, though. And that’s why I call this payback time.

“This is called revenge, Chanel!” I shout from inside the bathroom. Tumawa pa ako na parang isang witch.

“What? I didn’t do anything to you–oh!”

I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me. “Remember somethin’ now?” I ask sarcastically.

“Well, I can’t do anything about that. Dad threatened to cut off my card if I did not tell the truth. What am I supposed to do?”

“So, you chose your card over your sister, huh?” Bahagya kong nilagyan ng panggi-guilty ang boses ko dahil gusto kong iyon ang maramdaman niya. Gusto kong malaman niya na nagtatampo pa rin ako dahil sa ginawa niya. And all of that is for her card, all for money. I don’t care about being grounded, though, since I barely go out of my room anyway.

“I didn’t know dad would ground you because you didn’t attend the meeting that was supposed to be your debut at the company. Take note, the company that is going to be yours soon. What were you thinking? Can you imagine the embarrassment on dad’s face while waiting for his daughter to come, and no one came? If I was in that position, I would not just ground you. I would freeze your card as well. Better yet, freeze you to death.”

Napabuntonghininga na lang ako habang iniisip ang mga sinabi niya. Right, it was partly my fault for not attending. Pero hindi ko pa dapat ipakita ang sarili ko sa company hangga’t hindi pa ako Eighteen. That was my condition, and I was not ready yet. And dad knows that.

“Hey,” a soft voice whisper outside. I know that voice really well. Tanging si Carleigh lang ang may kakayahan nag awing malumanay ang boses niya gaya niyan.

Chanel is more like the boombox type of person. Hindi siya marunong bumulong. She likes it loud.

One time, when we were just kids, she shouted in my ears so loud. She was so angry at me. Pero huli nan ang ma-realize niyang umiiyak na ako dahil sa sakit. Ang tanging naririnig ko na lang ay tila parang isang radio static o television na may bad signal.

Sinugod ako ni mom sa hospital at hindi naman natigil sa kaiiyak si Chanel kahit na matagal na akong huminto.

I open the door with a glum look painted on my face. “I am going to inherit the company, Carleigh. Tinanggap ko na ‘yon para sa ‘yo. I know how much you hate our dad’s company, and you have a dream of your own that you want to pursue. But I was just not ready yet. At least, I am now since I am already eighteen.”

“That is not what I am about to say.” I chuckle but don’t say a word. “I am sorry.”

I pout. “I told you never to apologize again, didn’t I?”

“But still, I’m sorry. If not for me, hindi mor in naman kailangang manahin ang kahit anong business ni dad. We all hated dad’s company. The three of us didn’t want to have any affiliation with one of the Big Three.”

“Yeah, but someone has to.” I bit my lower lip. “And I will. I don’t know what I want or what I dream of anyway. So, maybe I’ll just go with his company. Maybe, just maybe, I will come to love it.”

Napatulala na lang sa ‘kin si Carleigh. Iyong tipo ng tingin na para bang may sinasabi sa ‘kin kahit na hindi na sabihin gamit ang bibig.

I hug her, and later on, Chanel joins our little circle even though I am still upset at what she did. At least patas na kami dahil sa video.

I just can’t stop thinking about what happened these past few months as I nuzzle into their hug.